infant care: santa cruz style

I have been waiting for the inspiration to post something and it finally came last night in the form of our infant care class. Let me first say our birthing class has been great and the instructor is an awesome teacher. That class has been full of useful information and preparation. Interestingly enough, many of the breathing, focus and relaxation techniques are not too dissimilar from some things we do as actors to warm up before a performance. Who knew that Becky's theatre degree would come in handy in childbirth!

So, the other class--infant care had been less than stellar, though we learned more last night than the first week. We knew we were in for an interesting learning experience when the first night she dropped the doll (baby) onto the table after demonstrating how to put on the clothes. Everyone in the room gasped. She said "It's okay he doesn't mind!!" while tapping the dolls head against the plastic table.

She also had a hangup about people spending money on things that the kid would not remember or care about. She went as far to say that the baby could sleep in a drawer or a clothes basket. At first I thought she was kidding. I don't think she was.

I have included some of the teacher's frequently used expressions and their definitions.

"Tank 'em up" Refers to breast feeding the baby. She rarely mentions bottle feeding--more on that later.


"Making the moo" refers to the mother replenishing calories and nutrients to make more breast milk

"the blowout" refers to a bowel movement of cataclysmic proportions that will defy all laws of gravity and explode from the diaper covering everything in a 3 mile radius. Apparently this happens frequently.

In Santa Cruz they are very much into natural childbirth--(home births are very popular) there is an obvious bias against couples that choose bottle feeding and disposable diapers.

Last night in discussing postpartum she said that 80% of women experience some kind of depression or baby blues. Her advice to the guys or partners was to tell he she is beautiful and followed that up with "It's okay you can lie--she will believe you."
Nice--huh?

She ended the evening with a slide show of babies with cone heads and birthmarks.
Lastly she reluctantly handed out a teacher evaluation survey that the hospital wanted her to hand out. She thought it was a stupid idea. As a teacher I think feedback is really helpful. The forms were anonymous, but she looked at each one as we handed them to her. The perfect uncomfortable ending to an odd two night class.